White Water: An epilogue novella (Ryder Bay Book 5) Page 4

  Jace grins and kisses my cheek. “You’re the heart stealer. My mom’s gonna love you.” Threading his fingers through mine, he gives them a little squeeze. “Thank you so much for coming with me.”

  “Of course.” I run my hand down his arm. “I know how nervous you are, but it’s gonna be fine.” I want to go on about how it’ll be so great for him to see his old friends again and to get a feel for life back in Sterling Beach, but I can’t. The words just won’t come.

  I don’t want him to know how incredibly petrified I am that he’s going to leave me. I try to keep reminding myself that our relationship started online, so we can totally make long-distance work, but now that I’ve spent the last six months or so kissing him and holding his hand, talking to him face-to-face… I don’t want to give that up.

  Curling my fingers around Jace’s neck, I pull him in for a kiss. I guess I may as well steal as many as I can before he’ll become black words on a white screen again.

  9

  JACE

  WELL, I’ve gotta say that flying does not suck half as badly when your gorgeous girlfriend is sitting next to you, and you pass over most of the middle states completely unaware because you’re too busy making out with her.

  Man, that poor guy in the aisle seat next to me.

  I cringe, only just becoming aware of how uncomfortable it must have been for him.

  But I couldn’t help myself. Lettie’s kisses are the sweetest thing on the planet, and I couldn’t help feeling like we both needed them. Like we were both trying to cling to the precious time we do have together.

  My insides pinch as we walk through the airport. Lettie’s fingers are threaded between mine, holding tight. I’m not sure how I’m going to let her go. Mom wants me back in Sterling Beach. She’s kind of said the decision is mine, but I can tell she’s just saying that because she knows she should. Not because she wants to.

  The family obviously feels incomplete without me, and that’s nice and everything, but damn, how am I supposed to leave Lettie?

  When Denee suggested this trip, I jumped all over it. The idea was genius. It would give me a chance to come back and really figure out what I want. I mean, I love Ryder Bay. I love Lettie. I love my new friends. But so much of my life has been in Sterling Beach. The history I have here still makes this place home.

  I bet it’s going to be easy as pie to slot right back in. That thought unsettles me a little.

  Do I want to slot back in?

  I glance at my girlfriend and uncertainty crashes through me like a tidal wave.

  “Jace!” Mom calls, and I whip around to spot her waving at me. She’s jumping up and down, looking more than excited as I walk toward her. “Oh, c’mere, you!”

  Her arms wrap around me like tentacles, yanking me down to her level. She’s crying and kissing my cheek and telling me she loves me. I reciprocate the hug, resting my chin on her shoulder and patting her back.

  “Love you too, Mom.”

  She pulls away and holds my face. “Oh, it’s so good to see you. I’ve missed you.”

  “I know.” I grin, holding her sides before stepping back to introduce my girl. “Mom, this is Lettie.”

  “Hi.” Lettie gives her a nervous wave.

  Mom’s smile is polite but has a warmth to it. “Hello.” She steps forward and gives Lettie a tentative hug, which my girlfriend very kindly reciprocates.

  I watch them pull away from each other and wonder how awkward this trip might be. I know they’re both going to work hard to make me happy, but it’s hard to ignore the underlying competition between them. They both want me on opposite sides of the country.

  Damn, maybe bringing Lettie along was a bad idea.

  If I decide I love it here, how’s my girlfriend going to take it? She hasn’t said much on the matter, either going quiet or changing the subject whenever it comes up. I’m guessing she wants to remain impartial and let me make my own decision.

  My insides twist uncomfortably as I share a quick look with Mom, who is smiling at me like I’m the freaking prodigal son.

  A little squeal from the stroller next to Mom makes us all turn to look down at the four-month-old cutie with black curls and big brown eyes. She raises her chubby little arms in the air and kicks her legs, obviously figuring it’s about time she stole the show.

  Lettie laughs and bobs down beside the stroller. “Don’t worry, we haven’t forgotten about you, cutie.” Touching the end of my sister’s nose, she giggles before looking up at Mom. “Can I pick her up?”

  “Oh, uh…sure.” Mom smiles, watching carefully as Lettie unbuckles Frankie and pulls her out, holding her like a natural.

  “Hello, little one. Aw, you are adorable.”

  Frankie grins, waving her little arms and lightly smacking Lettie on the cheek. Lettie’s face bunches and she giggles, capturing Frankie’s hand and raspberrying her knuckles. My sister squeals and laughs, and I’m standing here thinking Lettie’s the adorable one.

  Damn, I love her so much.

  If only I could find a way to bring all the people I care about into one place. Instead I’m left with a choice that’s an entire country wide. There are several states separating Virginia from California. Over two thousand, six hundred miles.

  It feels like a whole other universe when I’m supposed to decide which coast I want to settle on.

  I don’t know how I’m going to do it.

  Mom wraps her arm around my waist, squeezing me against her with a happy smile. She’s obviously impressed with my girlfriend, so that’s good. I force a grin as she pulls the keys from her purse and chirps, “All right, let’s get this family home. Tony should be there by the time we arrive.”

  As Mom and Lettie walk toward the exit, chatting about Tony and what a great dad he is, I grab Lettie’s bag and follow them. I guess all I can do for the next few days is show Lettie around my old world and hopefully figure out where the hell I'm supposed to spend my future.

  10

  JED

  MY FUTURE.

  What the hell am I supposed to do with it?

  As I sit on the edge of Skylar’s bed, staring at her Pratt acceptance letter, I can actually feel my heart sliding into my stomach. We had a plan. She was going to go to SDSU and I’m registering for the community college exactly 2.6 miles north of there.

  I’ll probably have to commute from home each day because I can’t afford housing, but I was willing to do that…so I could be near my girl.

  But she obviously has other plans.

  I’m struggling to know how to feel right now.

  Glancing at her bedroom door, I listen for the shower and can hear it still running. We’ve been hanging out by her pool this afternoon, and she wanted to freshen up before dinner. I told her I’d just wait on her bed reading an Archie comic, but then I spotted the letter.

  Does she know she left it out?

  It was sitting right on the edge of her desk.

  I shouldn’t have read it. It’s kind of an invasion of her privacy, but it just jumped out at me, and as soon as I saw the letterhead, I couldn’t ignore it.

  She’s leaving me.

  And not just like one state away leaving me, but the other side of the freaking country.

  I guess I kind of understand why. She’s made the odd comment about wanting to leave this place. It’s been tough on her. Ryder Bay is no longer her sanctuary. Some days it feels more like a snake pit. Those were her words.

  I should have twigged then.

  I should have figured out what she was trying to tell me. But I was too caught up in our ultimate plan, loving the idea of our future together. Stupidly dreaming that life would be fair and perfect.

  I’m such an idiot.

  Dipping my head, I run my hand over the back of it, staring at the floor and focusing on that one simple movement. Up and down. Up and down.

  The letter in my hand starts to shake as my vision blurs.

  When the door jolts open, I actually flinch, the letter
crinkling as I glance up and spot Skylar staring at me. She’s in a simple blue dress, her wet hair creating damp circles on her shoulders. I catch her eyes—her beautiful blue eyes. They’re so stunning I sometimes forget to breathe when I gaze into them. All of her is amazing.

  Amazing and too good for me.

  I’ve always thought that, and now I know the truth.

  Her eyes track from mine down to the letter in my hand and she gasps, her expression morphing with fear.

  “Where did you…?” She points at it and I clear my throat, dropping it back on her desk where I found it.

  “You… It was right there. On your desk.”

  She winces, mussing up the back of her damp hair and murmuring, “I didn’t mean to do that.”

  Ouch. That hurts for some reason. So, she was keeping it a secret.

  I frown and glance back down at the floor. “You weren’t gonna tell me?”

  “Because I haven’t decided yet,” she quickly rushes out. “I mean, I got into San Diego too, so our plan is still good to go.”

  Her smile is so forced right now. It’s not reaching her eyes; if anything, those beautiful blues are flashing with torment, showing me just how bad things can be. How much she wants to escape.

  I can’t be mad at her. I can’t guilt her into San Diego when she so obviously needs New York.

  “Sky.” I pat the bed beside me, hoping my expression is sweet and sincere. That’s what she needs right now and in spite of my pain, I’ve got to give it to her.

  She hesitates by the door, then lets out a sigh and shuffles over to me.

  I wait until she’s sitting down before taking her hand and threading our fingers together. Her little white digits are always in such contrast to my long, thick fingers.

  Brushing my thumb over her knuckles, I will my voice to come out even. “Do you want to go to New York?”

  “I don’t know,” she whispers, resting her head against my shoulder.

  “You wouldn’t have applied there if you didn’t.”

  She sniffs and takes way too long to answer, but I press my lips together, giving her the space to reply. I have to know why. If I fill this space with my own drivel, I might never learn the truth.

  After a thick swallow, she softly tells me. “I was having a bad weekend. You were working, and Jonah and his stupid minions had been especially assholey at school. I was sitting here, restless and desperate for escape, and I just kind of applied on a whim. I didn’t expect to get in, I just…” Her voice trails away, and I gently nudge her head off my shoulder so I can swivel around and look at her properly.

  Her eyes are bright with the onset of tears. Taking her face in my hands, I rub my thumbs across her cheekbones and by some miracle manage to find the courage to say, “You should go.” My voice is raspy, the words trying to cut off my air supply. “I don’t want to hold you back.”

  Her lips form a wonky line as she tries to give me a watery smile. Closing her eyes, the first tears slip free, and I brush them away as she whispers, “I don’t want to leave you.”

  Aw, melt my heart. I think she actually means that.

  Damn, I love her so much.

  Which means I can’t be selfish about this. I want to beg her to stay, convince her that we can do this, but it’s not right. This has to be her decision, and all I can do is promise her this…

  Taking her hand, I press it over my heart and try to reassure her. “It’s okay, Butterfly. We can make this work.”

  She sniffs, staring at the space between us. I want her to look up at me, but I’m too afraid, because I can’t look into those eyes as I say the next part.

  Clearing my throat, I swallow and can barely get the words out. “Or if you’re needing a clean break, a fresh start… I don’t want to hold you back. If you need to fly solo and start everything new, I—”

  “Are you crazy?” She cuts me off, her expression bunching with agony.

  Fisting my shirt, she pulls me toward her, her lips strong and sure as she plants one on me. I sink into the kiss, completely undone by it, just like I always am. She lets out a desperate little whimper against my mouth and climbs onto my lap, straddling me and wrapping her arms around my neck.

  I wind my hands over her hips and around her back, wanting to hold her close and never let go. Her tongue wraps around mine, and we dance together for I don’t know how long before she pulls back with a little cry.

  Covering her mouth, she dips her head, pressing her forehead against mine. Her voice is cracking and wobbling. “I’m in your heart, and you’re in mine. No matter where I go, that won’t change.” She sniffles. “I just don’t know how much longer I can be in Ryder Bay, you know? I feel like I don’t belong here anymore.” She looks up, her blue eyes glassy with anguish. “But I belong with you, and I don’t know what to do.”

  I don’t know either.

  I wish I had the perfect words.

  Between my aching stomach and my pulsing heart, I can’t decide how to feel.

  She loves me. She doesn’t want to leave me.

  But she needs to get away.

  I wish I could give her both.

  With a sad smile, I run my fingers around the back of her neck and gently guide her toward me. She rests her head against my shoulder, snuggling into the crook of my neck and holding me like I matter.

  I hold her back, because right now that’s all I can do.

  And right now, I can.

  I glance at the clock on her nightstand and can almost hear it ticking at me.

  Your time is running out, Jed.

  Your time is running out.

  11

  AIDAN

  IT’S BEEN two days since Harley’s surfboard was stolen, and I’m trying to fix it the only way I know how.

  She’s so cut up that it’s borderline weird.

  I know how much that surfboard meant to her, but she refused to go out on the water with me yesterday. I couldn’t convince her to take any of the boards from the Ryder Rentals shed and, in the end, got so irritated that I hung up on her.

  I then felt bad and called her right back, but she said to forget it. She just wanted to spend the day in bed and be alone.

  That’s not my girl.

  I mean, the alone thing, sure. She’s pretty good at that.

  But spending the day in bed? Not getting outside to enjoy a little sun and surf?

  That’s not Harley. I’m usually having to drag her out of the water.

  I just don’t get why she’s turned this theft into such a humongous deal. So I’m doing what I can to bring her out of the cave and back into the sunlight.

  Tucking the brand-new board under my arm, I walk to the car with a smile. It’s taken me nearly two hours of driving around, even heading all the way north to find the best surfboard I could for her. It’s cost me a freaking bomb, but I don’t care. She’s worth it.

  Wrestling the board into the car, I wedge it back as far as it will go. It still sticks up past the front passenger seat, but I’m not driving with the top down today. I have one more stop to make, and I don’t want to risk the surfboard getting stolen while I’m gone.

  Speeding back down the coast, I stop at the only decent flower shop in Ryder Bay and ask the woman to make me up a bouquet of brightly colored roses. She lets me pick out five colors and binds them together into a stunning arrangement. My mom would go gaga over this thing. But it’s not for her. This is for Harley.

  I have no idea if a guy has ever bought her flowers before. I’m guessing not. It makes me wish I’d done it already. I think I’ve always shied away from it because Harley doesn’t seem like a ‘flowers’ kind of chick. But Mom assured me last night that there’s no woman in the world who doesn’t appreciate being given flowers.

  “We all deserve to be made to feel special.” She grinned at me, and I knew what I had to do.

  A surfboard and a bunch of roses.

  With a confident smile, I head back out to my car, which I parked around the back. As I
’m loping through the little parking lot, my steps falter and I stutter to a stop when I notice my front right tire.

  “What the f…” My voice trails off when I near my car and notice the front left tire as well.

  They’ve been slashed.

  And the back two.

  “Shit!” I yell, gripping the rose stems and nearly dumping them on the ground. I remember in the nick of time and gently lay them on the roof of my car before pulling out my phone.

  Who the hell would slash my tires?

  My insides are fuming as I call Dad.

  He answers after two rings. “Hey, buddy. How’d she like the roses?”

  “I haven’t given them to her yet,” I spit.

  “Is everything okay?”

  “Some asshole slashed all four tires on the car! I just left it in the parking lot behind the bakery and the flower shop.”

  “What?” Dad’s voice goes sharp. “Well, is there any other damage? Did they take anything out of the car?”

  I check to make sure the surfboard’s still there and sag with relief. “It’s just the tires.”

  “Okay. Well, it sucks, but it’s not the end of the world. I’ll call a tow truck, then come pick you up.”

  “Thanks. I’m sorry to bother you at work, I just… You’re the first person I thought to call.”

  Dad chuckles. “I don’t mind skipping out on work to help my son. It’s the best excuse in the world.”

  I manage a small smile. “Thanks, Dad.”

  “See you soon.”

  He hangs up and I slump against the car, anger simmering through me.

  Why would someone slash my tires? What the hell have I done?

  Unless it was just random.

  I check the other cars around me and notice that it appears to just be me, which means this is a personal attack.

  But who? And why?

  I’m literally scratching my head when Dad shows up fifteen minutes later. We talk it through while we wait for the tow truck.

  “Do you think we should call the police about this?”